tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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