can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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