So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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