do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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