All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
