I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
