Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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