Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
