i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
