My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
