Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
