Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
