East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
