you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
