Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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