I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
