Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
