I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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