Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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