Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
