i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
