Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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