he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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