Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
