So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
