I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
