what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My life is pants optional.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
