Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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