.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
