Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
