i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
