I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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