found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
