I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
