My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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