Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Your cock deserves a montage
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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