somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
