So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
