They should really pass out barf bags in church
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
