are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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