O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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