I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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