Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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