i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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