Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize