Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
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also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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