I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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