I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
