do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
