Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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