hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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