Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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