we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
