sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
