this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
