I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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