o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
