Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
