So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
