considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
