My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
