I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
