Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's the barista slut.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
