And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
