elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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