Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i came on her dog
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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