i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
