we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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