Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
