I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
