Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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